Your kid right now is probably sporting a Curry, Brady, or Bryce Harper jersey right now and it’s your fault for not teaching him to irrationally hate them for no reason
“You see, Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don’t sell out the way dogs do.” -Jack Byrnes, genius
One time I was 2 stalls away when a friend had a similar experience with an auto flush toilet. Can’t begin to describe how much I enjoyed his misery when he had to tell his dad he flushed his phone down the toilet.
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“I play sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising” -Kenny Fucking Powers
I thought that was an old person joke. It was the only part I laughed at. Tell me that was an old person joke right now
I’ll light the current societal system on fire tomorrow tomorrow I’ve already had one too many Miller Lites on my back porch today to care
This kid better put you into the nicest of retirement communities or your investment has a really shitty ROI
If this is Playoff Duda I can’t wait to see the performances of Finals Duda
Otherwise that equipment is most certainly self operated
“Water?!?! Never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.”
I’m just gonna try not to drunkenly shit my pants this year. It will make this year significantly better than last year
As Lavar Ball would say, “STAY IN YO LANE!!!”
We used to at least have better porn access than the older generations. Now even that’s in jeopardy. RIP net neutrality
Nice try Dave Ruff. We see through your tricks
The author is also easily irritated
What are you a doctor?!?!
Liquid bread. Pretty much the same thing
And enough with the modesty Mr. humble dating expert
I hope you drown, SwimCoach
Your kid right now is probably sporting a Curry, Brady, or Bryce Harper jersey right now and it’s your fault for not teaching him to irrationally hate them for no reason
“You see, Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don’t sell out the way dogs do.” -Jack Byrnes, genius
One time I was 2 stalls away when a friend had a similar experience with an auto flush toilet. Can’t begin to describe how much I enjoyed his misery when he had to tell his dad he flushed his phone down the toilet.
I’m sure he gets his “reliable jumper within 10 feet” off plenty against the lollipop guild in munchkinland though