My car was fully covered in bird shit this morning. PGP.

Cute animal videos don’t cheer me up anymore. PGP.

“Hey! How was your vacation? By the way…” PGP.

I’m getting too old to hit on the interns. PGP

The boss just got upset that the secretary wasn’t here to order his lunch for him so now I have to do it.

No one in my office acknowledged my birthday. PGP

Shattered my iPhone screen and now I’m swiping blind on Tinder. PGP.

Trump just won my home state. PGP.

I now officially have a favorite brand of cough drops. PGP.

April, 22 and the box of random drug tests is delivered to the office. PGP.