Two years into the real world. Still haven’t used algebra. At all. PGP.

Started upper-middle class now I’m poor. PGP.

Can we all just agree that the international sign for “Leave me alone” is eating lunch at your desk? PGP.

My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

I don’t have anything witty to say, I just really hate my job. PGP.

Motion to bring back “Dick’s Picks” to PGP because the undergrads on TFM do not know the saga of Dick Perry’s rise to fame and epic collapse. PGP.

Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

I always wondered why people voluntarily stay late at work, then my girlfriend moved in with me. PGP.