Papa John’s Rewards points serve as currency in my house. PGP.

Sometimes I make my bed for the sole purpose of feeling like I have my life together. PGP.

Wishing I lived in the ’70s so my chest hair and pattern balding would be more socially acceptable. PGP.

Monday I started P90X. Tuesday I finished a large pizza. PGP.

Beginning all online shopping sprees by clicking the ‘sort price: low to high’ option. PGP.

Googling how much one of your kidneys might be worth. PGP.

Watching “American Greed” for ideas on how to get rich quick. PGP.

I can’t tell if I have low libido or if I’m just too tired to jack off anymore. PGP.

People in other departments telling you how to do your job. PGP.

It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.