Skipping happy hour to take your dog to the park. PGP.

My recent calls consist of a mayor, drug dealer, our HR rep, a state senator, and three Tinder girls. PGPM.

Last night, I had a sex dream. Didn’t even wake up with a boner. PGP.

Sometimes when I work with my headphones in, I’ll hear a coworker call my name, but choose to ignore it in hopes they will leave me alone. PGP.

My coworker managed to tell me a five minute story about how her son missed the bus this morning. PGP.

If I see the hashtag #LoveMyJob one more time I am going to flip out. PGP.

Not going to grad school because I just spent 17 fucking years in school. PGP.

All the blame and none of the credit. PGP.

Got caught jamming to the hold music on the phone. PGP.

The combined record of my college team, my pro team, and my two fantasy football teams: 1-12. PGP.