I’ve been at work for an hour and I have yet to do anything remotely productive.

I’m a regular at more than one Subway.

Looking out the office window to see if your boss’s car is gone before ducking out early.

There’s a Pedialyte in the break room fridge.

Really productive conference call. Left with four new matches by the end of it.

Coworker wanting to discuss a project while I’m using the bathroom.

It’s gotten to a point where my coworker would breathe and I instantaneously want to punch his face.

Took six flights of stairs to avoid talking with a coworker in the garage elevator.