Already took two sick days, wished I could take a third. Boss refused to step inside my office, so yeah I’m looking and feeling great obviously. PGP.

Taking a PTO day with plans to get hammered the night before because, “It’s been a while.” PGP.

Jealous of Obama because he gets to quit his job today. PGP.

My four hour flight didn’t have wifi. This was more upsetting than it should have been. PGP.

My go-to drunk food place now knows my name and what I order. PGP.

Old enough for wrinkles, young enough for acne. PGP.

Overheard in the office: “So does that mean like you have a foot fetish?” PGP.