Requested PTO to take off last Friday. Manager approved it this morning.

Every time someone at work tells me a story, I want to just “honestly, I don’t give a fuck.”

When you see the requisition for the job you just interviewed for reopened.

I went to bed at halftime last night.

Sent a follow-up email to a recruiter from an interview last week. Spelled their name wrong.

Knowing what kind of a day it’s going to be based on that first trip to the bathroom

Not telling people I still have a perfect bracket in fear of being “that guy.”

I would be lying if I said I had any intention of doing any actual work today.

“Looks like someone isn’t wearing their green today”

ESPN and CBS have just been blocked.