Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

Getting locked out of your home computer for typing in your work password multiple times. PGP.

After getting your first house, the most exciting purchases you make are a grill and lawn mower. PGP.

That soul crushing moment when you realize the report you’ve been working on for the last month will be glanced at once. If you’re lucky. PGP.

Giving yourself a pep talk in the parking lot, trying to get motivated to enter the building. PGP.

This is my coffee mug. There are many like it, but this one is mine. PGP.

Finishing your work well in advance of when it’s due, but only handing it in slightly early to avoid being given more work. PGP.

Your boss saying, “We’ll see,” meaning the same thing it did when your parents said it twenty years ago. PGP.

1: “Going to decorate your cube?” 2: “Someday. With my brain splatter.” PGP.