Having four dress shirts and two pairs of pants in the weekly rotation. PGP.

Getting up to go to the bathroom out of boredom, not necessity. PGP.

Bought a new mattress and a new office chair. If that’s how I’m going to spend 90% of my time, I might as well be comfortable. PGP.

Calling in sick to work results in me being hyper paranoid that everyone knows I lied. Can’t decide if its really worth it. PGP.

Accidentally dialing 9 before making a call on your cell phone. PGP.

“We’re always looking for new talent, submit your resume and we’ll get back to you.” No you aren’t and no you won’t. PGP.

Buying more expensive alcohol, yet drinking it in less fun ways. PGP.

Counting sex as a workout. PGP.

Judging the TFM Halloween costume contest more on creativity than sluttiness. PGP.

I’m writing this so my office mates think I’m actually working. PGP.