So what you’re to telling me is that eating leftover Chipotle in bed on a Friday night isn’t turning up? PGP.

I haven’t spoken out loud to a single actual person today. PGP.

Greeting the guy whose name you can never remember with “There he is!” PGP.

1:”Where do you want to eat lunch?” 2: “Anywhere I can’t see this building.” 1: “Completely agree.” PGP.

My expensive tastes greatly outweigh my paycheck. PGP.

It’s hard to date a guy who drives a 2004 Dodge Neon and can only afford to drink Lonestar Tall Boys. PGP.

Broke my ankle over MDW. Getting all kinds of shade thrown my way at the office. PGP.