Just saw my boss on TV at The Masters as I’m watching it from my cube

Called a client who has a ring back tone to all I do is win” by DJ Khaled.

Not letting work get in the way of watching the Masters.

I turned 24 today. 41 more years until retirement. PGP.

The Wait of Shame on the toilet so you don’t have to make eye contact with the people who just heard you destroy it. PGP.

I got 99 problems and money is all of them.

Melatonin is my performance enhancing drug. PGP.

I can’t afford to be in another wedding.

My parents strongly suggested that I try online dating.

The guy that is dominating the office bracket challenge had no idea he was until I mentioned it to him today. PGP.