“The kiddos…” PGP.

The woman next to me brought fucking spaghettios and is eating them at 8 a.m. I’m going to throw up. PGP.

I shit my pants at work today. PGP.

Boss tried to “updog” me this morning. PGP.

Officially old today as I checked the 25-34 age category instead of the 18-24. PGP.

When you crack a beer at 3, and Pandora immediately plays an ad about addiction. PGP.

An apple a day does not keep the doctor away. PGP.

Using “It was a short month” as your excuse for being broke at the end of February. PGP.

“Have you tried restarting it?” PGP.

Got injured at laser tag. PGP.