My manager texted me the angry emoji when I was 15 minutes late this morning.

1: “How’s it goin?” 2: “Just another day in paradise.”

I’m still hungover from Preakness.

The biggest douche in my high school is now a famous actor in Hollywood. PGP.

Cut off from bottomless mimosas. PGP.

Finally found a job with my undergrad degree. It only took 4 years and 2 semesters of grad school.

I can’t even afford to casually date. PGP.

That’s what I love about these interns, man. I get older, they stay the same age. PGP.

Looking forward to listening to my new audio book on my commute home tonight. #PGP