People my age are winding down their professional sports careers.

My friends moms aren’t hot anymore.

Passing off a hangover as horrible allergies.

I don’t think anyone in my office would notice if I went missing.

My coworkers found out my college nickname.

My parents kicked me off the family plan. PGP.

I finally got to start traveling for work, but it’s all on weekends.

I’ve never hit the step goal on my fit bit.

I only see friends at weddings or bachelor parties.

Wedding I went to ended up being a cash bar.