Got a chair massage at the car wash today. Didn’t get a car wash.
I’m the Dennis Rodman of my condos HOA.
Too scared to expense in flight wifi.
A week after moving I was told we are moving offices near my old place.
My boss refers to the strip club as “The Titter.”
I didn’t get any cash or practical gift cards for Christmas.
Washed down my Zantac with a margarita.
Got cut off at the whole foods bar.
Only 3 more years until my car is paid off.
“Nice to e-meet you!”