I wouldn’t feel obligated to go to my boss’ funeral.
Showed up for happy hour and left at last call.
I have enough saved up to quit my job and survive for a week.
My wife hates me and I don’t blame her.
Never volunteering to drive to lunch so you can maintain that front row spot.
So many acronyms, so little time.
Jordan Spieth has made more by 21 than I will in my whole life.
I’m too scared to ask for a gas reimbursement.
Used my gambling winnings to pay my rent.
I now watch games at home because bars are too loud.