My friends moms aren’t hot anymore.

Being asked what your plans are for the weekend by older coworkers then extremely disappointing them with your response. PGP.

My boss insists that I drive his car to client meetings so he can get the mileage reimbursement. PGP.

Passing off a hangover as horrible allergies.

Priced out a minivan today. PGP

Contemplated calling in a noise complaint on my undergrad neighbors around 11:45pm last night. PGP

Lying about having seen a YouTube video so you don’t have to stand there and watch it.

James Bond knows what the weight of an empty gun feels like. I’m the same way with my stapler. PGP.

Acromyms.PGP.

Just cracked open a tall boy…..of Arizona Iced Tea. PGP.