The only thing I have in common with my 18-year-old brother is that we both want fake IDs saying we are 21. PGP.

Not staying up to see the moon last night because you wouldn’t have been able to function at work today. PGP.

Your fictional allergies “acting up” every time you’re noticeably hungover at work. PGP.

Your couch and coffee table doubling as your dinner table and “home office.” PGP.

If I found out an asteroid was going to hit earth today, I wouldn’t be all that upset. PGP.

90% of my day is spent avoiding emails and pretending I’m too busy to answer the phone. PGP.

I see how many times I can say “meow” on my daily conference call without anyone noticing. My record is 3. PGP.

Always blaming the new guy. PGP.