Never having anything positive to say when asked, “How are you doing?” PGP.

When you’re so bored that you actually start doing some work. PGP.

My “tax refund” this year is as depressing as the elevator ride up to my office every day. PGP.

I literally do not know how to ask for days off.

My boss quotes himself in his email signature

My girlfriend gave up sex for lent.

Receiving EOD requests at 4:58pm