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The Chronicles Of Todd: Guy’s Trip Planning

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The Chronicles Of Todd: Guy's Trip Planning

The following is a transcript of emails shared during business hours between Todd and his friends on Thursday, March 9, 2017 regarding a guy’s trip.

* * *
From: todd@conservefinance.com

To: trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: Boy’s Trip

Alright, boys. The time has come. It’s been a few months since John’s bachelor party and I’ve got the itch. I don’t care if it’s in April, May, or August, I just need something to look forward to.

A brief list of possible ideas: my parents’ lakehouse, Kiawah (again), Vegas, Scottsdale, Indy 500. Let me know your thoughts and let’s knock something out of the park.

* * *
From: john@chasebank.com

To: trip@chasebank.com, ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: Boy’s Trip

So, uhhhhh, someone went as far as humanly possible to avoid saying the words… KENTUCKY DERBY. Someone have some residual scaries from last year?

* * *
From: trip@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com, john@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: Boy’s Trip

I can ask my dad about his house again but I’m still up shit creek without a paddle after the whole fireworks debacle over John’s bach.

* * *
From: todd@conservefinance.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Yeah, let’s avoid that place for the foreseeable future. I mean, we can do Derby again if people are down. It’s just a little late in the game to get round two planned considering probably every house in Louisville is rented out.

* * *
From: spencer@sfaholdings.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

You guys haven’t met her yet but I’ve been seeing this girl who’s actually from Louisville and I’m already planning on going.

Todd – you trying to plan a bachelor party without telling us right now or what?

* * *
From: john@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

You sandbagging son of a bitch. Actually, that applies to both of you.

Todd – Let’s fuck up Derby again.

Spencer – Pics, or at the very least, an Instagram handle.

* * *
From: trip@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Oh, look, you boys are going to include the rest of us on your Derby boy’s trip this year. That’s nice of you.

* * *
From: finn@northwesttrust.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Don’t get too excited, I’m still hungover from last year and Todd will probably barely drink considering he hooked up with that Claire chick last year and refuses to tell anyone about it.

* * *
From: todd@conservefinance.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

I did not hook up with anyone last year. Wait, have we decided on Derby or something? I was looking for some golf in my life, or a pool at the very least.

* * *
From: john@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

DERBY.

* * *
From: finn@northwesttrust.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, john@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

DERBY.

* * *
From: trip@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

DERBYYYYYYYYYYY.

* * *
From: todd@conservefinance.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Alright, fine. Since Derby isn’t an inherently guys-only event, what are we all telling our girlfriends/wives/fiancees/whatevers about it so they don’t come?

* * *
From: spencer@sfaholdings.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Well, I mean, I’m staying at my girlfriend’s place so I don’t really know if it would be right for me to tell her not to come, Todd. That’s fucked up, man.

Honestly, everyone can probably stay there but it’s going to be a packed house so it’s going to be a sleeping-on-the-couch situation.

* * *
From: john@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

This is why we can’t have nice things, Todd. The only person I’m worried about telling their SO is you. Sack up and let us know how it goes.

BTW, I just looked up flights and you can go direct for just over $400 if you book right now.

* * *
From: trip@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

BOOKED.

* * *
From: finn@northwesttrust.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKED.

P.S. I also just told Katie and her first reaction was, “Todd’s going to have fun explaining this one.”

* * *
From: john@chasebank.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

[jack-off-motion.gif]

The only reason Katie doesn’t care that you’re leaving town is because she hates you, Finn. Todd, let me know when you break the news so I know when to tell Caroline. We’re in the same boat. #BandOfBrothers

* * *
From: todd@conservefinance.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

I’ll tell her this weekend, you fucks.

* * *
From: finn@northwesttrust.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Hey, uhhhhh, Todd… you going to make it a round 2 with Claire this year or what?

* * *
From: todd@conservefinance.com

To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com

cc: [blank]

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip

Fuck off.

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Will

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at will@grandex.co.

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