Red, White, And Blue Heelys Are In Stock, Baby

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Rompers have been the talk of the Internet all week and for good reason. It’s an item that men’s fashion has needed for a long time and I’m glad a company finally decided to pull the trigger and make them.

Anyone with even a little bit of confidence can pull off a romper at the beach or next to the pool, but have you guys thought about how you’re going to get there? You can’t just wear a pair of flip flops and who wants to Uber to the beach on a day when you should be walking? No one, that’s who. Which is why I’m here to show you the perfect pairing for that salmon colored romper you’re going to be rocking all summer. You don’t even have to walk all that much either because you have fucking wheels inside of your shoes. Pansies need not apply, these shoes are for badasses only.

Heely’s are back, baby. I think we can all fondly remember a time when Heely’s were the “it” shoe to have on the playground or in the halls of elementary school. My mom wouldn’t buy me a pair and the jealousy that I felt whenever I saw a kid slide past me in the hall at school was unparalleled.

Now that I’m an adult I can do whatever I want. I can eat Sour Patch kids for dinner. I can buy alcohol. And I can certainly buy a pair of red, white, and blue Heely’s to roll around in on Lake Shore Drive.

What a work of art these shoes are. Rompers, Heely’s, doing sick air grabs and wheelys with my boys? That’s what summer is all about.

Dogtown and Z-Boys? They better step aside because I’m going to be emptying pools out all over the country to skate in my Heelys. It’s all coming together, folks. Get a pair for yourself before these suckers sell out.

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Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail:

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