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Today on my way home from work, I did what any normal twenty-something does – zero-in on my phone and catch up on social media. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Talk to people? You’ve got to be kidding me.
Anyway, I came across yet another totally accurate and life-changing BuzzFeed quiz: “How Bitchy is Your Brain?” At first, I was about to scroll right past it, and then I realized I was out of people to Facebook stalk, and Instagram was lame today. Where are all of my pictures of food and funny memes now that I need you, people of the Internet? You had one job.
As it turns out, I have an 87% bitchy brain. Apparently, this means that “I often think things that I shouldn’t say aloud, but I am pretty good at keeping your mean thoughts to myself.”
Yeah, unless you’ve read any of my articles before.
I also “have a few designated bitching buddies who I consult from time to time. And there’s nothing wrong with being bitchy; it just means I’m not a fake person.”
Um… thank you? Hey, @allmyfriends – I’m now going to refer to you guys as my “bitching buddies.” When used in a sentence: “me and my bitching buddies are going out downtown tonight.” Rolls right off the tongue.
Jokes aside, I think BuzzFeed might be on to something. We could be on the cusp of the next introvert vs. extrovert debate, you guys. This is history in the making.
Okay, just hear me out. How many times have you wanted to say something maybe not so nice or politically correct but you held back because someone, somewhere might get offended? Nevermind the fact that people get offended when someone sneezes nowadays. You kept it to yourself because you knew people would look at you like you said you don’t like Beyoncé. It’s not that you’re a mean person, it’s just that you know it’s not always rainbows and sunshine.
We all show up for work or school every day with a smile plastered on our face, trying to please everyone and convincing the world that we rescue kittens from trees in our spare time. But the second we get back home, we’re free to be our sarcastic, sassy, self-deprecating selves (say that ten times fast).
I guarantee that there’s a little bit of a “bitchy brain” in all of us… Well, at least those of us that read this website. There’s a crucial distinction between “bitch” and “having a bitchy brain,” though. Bitches (this applies to you too, gentlemen) will go out of their way to be mean or manipulative towards others. People with “bitchy brains” will just think mean things, but wouldn’t actually act upon their thoughts. They’re the ones thinking “shut the f up” about the loud guy down the hall, but would never actually call him out on it. Maybe this makes us all cowards, I don’t know. All I’m saying is that there’s got to be more of us out there than we realize. I mean, Betches Love This made a very successful brand out of making fun of the things people think or feel but don’t actually say out loud. Taylor Swift used her bitchy brain to kickstart her career; just ask John Mayer, or Harry Styles, or Jake Gyllenhaal… actually, on second thought, she’s just a bitch.
We’re all thinking these bitchy things, it’s just that the angel on our shoulder is telling us to not to do anything about it. That, or we’re just entirely too lazy.
Moral of the story: if you don’t have anything nice to say, come join me and my bitching buddies in the corner. .
Image via Everett Collection / Shutterstock.com
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Tl;dr: she took a Buzzfeed quiz and over analyzes what it means
If I’m not at work, I say exactly what’s on my mind. People don’t know you if you don’t tell them who you are. I don’t have the time or energy to pretend to be someone I’m not, unless it’s around the people who pay me.
Hence the success of the Cubicle Warrior’s Double Life series.
Professional me and outside of work me are 2 different people
You’re telling me. My boss thinks that I’m a Democrat, just like her.
Each of the managers in my department think I’m what they are – so I’m a staunch Bernie supporter, a Trump republican, and a libertarian. Not because I’ve ever said anything to lead them to believe that, just because I nod along and never disagree with their rants.
Start active at country of origin by the whole of Google! It’s right the best work I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a fresh on the wrong track of the box beautiful BMW as getting a browse for $6474 this – 4 weeks past.
Simply tap On This sort of Link……….TodayWeb60.ＣＯℳ
Modern-day Jekyll and Hyde.
I imagine most of us can relate
*Reads this article*
*Bitchy Brain kicks into overdrive*
this article belongs on TSM. the sinking ship that is grandex continues to amaze me
My new coworker (literally been working at this company longer than I’ve been alive, and we’re both at the same stage in our careers now) breathes like the fucking predator and I’m fairly certain has done zero work in the two months since he moved to our team.
That man alone gives me a solid 3 hours of bitchy thoughts per day, but I’m supposed to be his mentor, so I grin and am polite to him all day.
Whew, I guess I needed to get that off my chest during work hours at least once.
You should tell him how you feel. Just be sure to cover yourself in mud if he tries to kill you.
God bless you guys. My boss has accused me of not having balls and needing to toughen up. I am tough. And sassy. And rather freaking awesome…but not at work. I just don’t care enough to argue and scream with him like my co-workers do and I thought I wasn’t stepping up to the plate. So glad to see the rest of y’all put on different skins at work too. Only website on the internet that the comments are worth reading! Much love, y’all.