How To Configure Your iPhone’s Home Screen So You Don’t Look Like A Psycho

How To Configure Your iPhone's Home Screen So You Don't Look Like A Psycho

The easiest way to clean a messy apartment or living room is by clearing off the coffee table. It takes minimal effort, but the long-term effects of removing random menus that came attached to the pizza you ordered and crumbs from your disgusting mouth will make it feel like you gave the rest of your place a much-needed deep clean. Cleanliness is close to godliness, and clutter is the work of the devil.

The same sentiment goes for other aspects of your life as well, namely your text messages, emails, and phone. You spend most of your time staring at the black mirrored screen so when something takes up that much real estate in your head, you need to make sure that real estate is well-managed.

If I look over your shoulder while you’re texting (please note: I’m definitely going to look over your shoulder if you’re not shielding yourself from me), I’m going to judge the entire situation at your fingertips and I’m definitely going to make assumptions about you based on what you’ve got going on.

Apps-To-Screen Ratio

Unless you’re a dad who refuses to register his phone with the Apple Store for fear of his financial information getting stolen, it’s likely you have anywhere from 20 to 60 apps downloaded on your phone. And with those apps, it’s probably fair to say that you use about 25 percent of them on a daily basis. The question isn’t about what the hell you’re supposed to do with the apps you use on a regular basis – it’s what you’re supposed to do with all the random shit you’ve downloaded on the off-chance you’ll need to use them.

The easy answer? Folders. But we’ll get to that in a second.

You don’t necessarily want your day-ones in folders, so you leave them on your screen so they’re just one click away. But once you start getting willy-nilly with apps you proooobably don’t use often, the rows of your apps are going to get closer and closer to your home row. In order to not look like a cluttered mess, you need to allow a two-row buffer between your app rows and your home row. Like so.

The gap leaves you with an unexplainable peace of mind that you simply won’t get if you’ve got a fully-stacked 24 apps on your screen. Let that background show through so you can see whatever sunset or animal you’ve chosen. Take a couple deep breaths. Embrace the space.

Don’t Abuse Folders

There’s a huge difference between de-cluttering your home screen and shoving all your apps under your bed and into your closet to give the appearance of having it together. If you just start shoving shit in folders to achieve #TheGap, you’re going to end up with 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.

By offloading everything into a folder, you’re not only taking everything from being one click away to two clicks away – you’re creating small piles of messes that you have to sift through any time you want to accomplish something. Time is money, and taking time to enter folders and search for the appropriate apps is for non-closers only. Decide on twelve to sixteen apps that you’re most likely to use, toss those out of folders, and store everything else away from that once-a-week moment when you may need them.

You never fooled your parents by shoving your toys under your bed, and you’re not fooling anyone else by jam-packing your folders full of apps.

“No Red Bubbles.” – Drake

At least I think that’s how that song went. I ask you this – who’s worse: the people who have an insane amount of tabs open on their laptop’s browser or the people who have thousands of unread emails on their phone? Trick question, they’re either equally as bad or the exact same people.

Have you monsters never heard of the archive button? Do you just not check your personal email now that you’re in the “real world” or whatever? Do you really not get stressed out every time you type in your passcode and see 25,623 unread messages? I mean, just look at this dude.

I won’t even touch on the fact that he still has Pokemon Go on his phone, but 63,261 unread emails? How many skeletons does this guy have in his closet? I mean, I understand you don’t have time to go through every email at this point. That’s unreasonable. But when do you finally reach your breaking point, hop in Settings, and turn off the red bubbles for it so it’s just completely out of sight and out of mind?

Don’t even get me started on people who don’t listen to voicemails or check all their texts. At that point, you might as well just completely give up and buy an Android.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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