If losing your v-card was like a fairy tale, then hats off to you. Consider yourself the lucky one-percent. But for the rest of us, it was awkward as hell. There were limbs flailing, holes being poked, sweaty palms all over the place and a feeling of utter confusion. At least we can look back and laugh about it now, right?
Topanga
Age: 16
Location: My parents’ house
That Special Moment: It was as cliché as it gets. It was the morning after prom (yeah that’s right, I was dating a senior) and he was driving me home (yeah that’s right, he had a car) from the after party we had spent the night at. I asked if he wanted to come in and hang for a little bit when we got back to my parents’ house, because, #romance. Once we realized that no one was home, we did it. Sort of. Honestly, it hurt so much that I told him to go home because I was in prime season for getting pregnant (read: raging ovulation), even though I knew it was a total lie. We didn’t have sex again for three months because it turned out my boyfriend was ultra-religious and I didn’t know that because, again, I was 16 and didn’t like to listen to him talk. I only liked to look at his abs.
Rating: 0/10. I literally lied to get him to go home it was so bad.
JayTas
Age: 17 (And proud of it)
Location: The back-seat of my Toyota Rav 4 in the parking lot of the Long Island Railroad station in Syosset, NY.
That Special Moment: Special? I’d just broken up with my high school sweetheart for the umpteenth time and I needed a prom date, so I started dating this other girl and about 8 days later we were banging. One of those girls you date for the sole purpose of losing your virginity. Very “special.”
Rating: “Meh”/10
5OClockShadow
Age: 17
Location: An apartment in downtown Athens, GA
That Special Moment: I was visiting campuses to decide where I would go to college and while I was visiting UGA I went to a fraternity party. They had a band playing and beer everywhere and I started chatting up this girl who knew the band. She was 23, and flat out told me she was looking to get laid that night. We left the party and she dragged me around downtown Athens filling me with alcohol. We got back to her place and as soon as her roommate went to bed she was all over me. Then, she tried to drag me to the bedroom…but first I had to poop. I used her bathroom, then proceeded into the bedroom to have sex with her. I was so drunk that I couldn’t feel a damn thing. I barely remember her leaving the bedroom before I passed out, and I woke up around 4 am alone in her bed. I grabbed my pants and wallet and literally ran all the way back to my hotel down the road. I don’t remember her name or where she lived.
Rating: 1/10
Babe Lincoln
Age: 18
Location: Bedroom of my parent’s house
That Special Moment: Utter silence. Imagine what it sounds like to be in space and then put that on mute. A complete, muted disaster.
Rating: Negative one billion/10
Whiskey_Ginger
Age: 19
Location: My freshman dorm, in my roommate’s bed.
That Special Moment: I was hammered on everclear lemonade after coming back from a party at the off-campus frisbee house (it was terrible, but it was Easter weekend. Frisbee was the only game in town.) I struck out with ultra-religious girl I went with to the party (a mistake, in hindsight) but then I booty called this girl from my chemistry class and we hooked up.
Rating: 7/10. Wasn’t a bad first time, and I got revenge on my shitty, World of Warcraft/phone sex-loving roommate by fucking her on his bed. Win.
Rory Gilmore
Age: 16
Location: On the couch in my boyfriend’s parents’ basement.
That Special Moment: After a long sweaty morning of life guarding, my boyfriend picked me up in his 1992 Buick and we went back to his parents’ house to fornicate. We were both virgins and had no idea what we were doing. It was painful, smelled like sunscreen and latex, and it messed up my perfectly crafted French braid. I never even took off my lifeguard bathing suit top. Also, I’m pretty sure it was noon and his mom was upstairs making us lunch.
Rating: 1.5/10…glad to get it over with.
AARP Benny
Age: 18
Location: My frat house bunk
That Special Moment: I lived in my frat house as a pledge and swiped my v-card on the second night of college. I’m romantic like that. Unfortunately, I got blackout drunk and the older sister of one of the older actives decided she wanted to deflower me. I was drunkenly thrusting on top of her and my shack sheets started coming undone and fell down around us. Little did I know, there were about five people outside of my room, watching me lose my virginity. There’s a grainy cell phone video of my bare ass flying up and down somewhere out there on the internet. I’m sure of it. I’m terrified I’ll stumble across it on XVideos one day.
Rating: 10 paddle swats/10
Anonymous
Age: 17 (and three months)
Location: My then-boyfriend’s bed, Brooklyn, NY
That Special Moment: I was very staunch about not doing the deed until I had been dating someone for at least a year. Don’t get me wrong, we did other stuff – I was the classic “Everything But” girl. It was planned and calculated, down to the day – exactly a year and one week after we had begun dating.
Rating: “Owwwww”/10
How’d it go down for you? Share it with us. This is a safe place..
I think mine is actually pretty good…in a horrible, ridiculous kind of way.
Senior year of high school…her parents liked me a lot, and I was also tutoring her in math, so I could stay as late as I needed to (basically as long as I was gone before they got up, it was all good).
Well one winter night we decided to try to have sex. It was like trying to put a hotdog through the hole of a ritz cracker. Once said hot dog began to bend painfully, even the horny 18 year old was willing to call it quits.
I go outside at 2 am…and my car has been completely plowed in. So I have to go inside and wake up her parents to tell them I’m going to have to stay the night. They make up the pull-out couch for me, and since I was terrified to make them not like me, I did not go upstairs when my girlfriend invited me to come up to her bed.
The next morning when I’m still half asleep, her dad sends her little brother outside to clear off my car while he makes me breakfast. During this time, I was losing my virginity to her on a towel in her closet floor. So her family was making me food and helping me out while I deflowered their daughter.
When I told my friends about it all, they admitted they had paid the plow truck to push all the snow on the street around my car. So I lost my virginity because my friends are assholes.
My girlfriends basement. She cried halfway through, said “what if I’m pregnant?!”, and I jerked off in her bathroom. We broke up the next week. -1/10. btw, I talked to her a year ago and she swears to God she’s never had sex since then and won’t until she’s married. What a weird, super-hot bitch. God I’m horny.
I was 16
I just love cumming of age stories.
I lost mine at 17 as a rebound for a girl that had recently been broken up with by “the love of her life.” It was also the closest I’ve come to ever having a threesome. I peaked sexually seven years ago.
16 years old. She was already in college because she was freakishly brilliant. On a blind date set up with friends. Her MySpace had me immediately aroused. Met her fam on the first date. Out of nowhere, her parents left on their own date. We had sex on her couch (time: 4 minutes including sitting down and cutting on the TV). Her dog stared at me the entire time. It was mortifying. Unsolved Mysteries was on, too. I immediately left after. 2/10 - she’s now a stripper in Myrtle Beach.
Who would’ve thought Topanga and Rory would be such little minxes
TOPANGA IS A FUCKING CONSPIRACY.
LEARN THE TRUTH.
Just a cover for Nanner.
Who is this “Nanner” ????
It’s not Nanner, it’s Nanners.
All you skeptics go to http://www.topangatruth.com. If you’re not a truther now, you will be.
Can someone who knows something about computers create this website so the link actually works? I would be curious to read more about the Topanga Birther Movement
Lost it to a guy I was dating at the age of 16, skip forward a couple of years and now I’m roommates with his girlfriend.
Oddly, my first time was the classiest time of my life. I was 18, and my then girlfriend had just turned the same age. We’d spent the entire day on her ranch, celebrating with family and friends. We had dinner, I gave her a necklace, and it was a truly lovely evening.
Once her parents had gone to be, it was time to go for it. And I went for it. I’d watched a lot of film beforehand (read: A METRIC FUCK TON OF PORN), so I felt I was pretty well prepared. She, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on. After a while we got into a groove. Afterwards we cuddled and talked about our feelings for one another for hours. I told her I didn’t think I’d be someone who could fall in love because I hadn’t ever really loved myself. She told me she’d help me. I knew she wasn’t lying. After what we had just done, there was an unbreakable bond that would forever bind us together. We woke up, made breakfast, and just lounged in each others arms for a day. It was pretty fucking magical.
We dated for a year, then I accidentally broke up with her while I was blackout drunk. Over the phone. After she told me she needed me to console her after she’d been through some truly awful missionary work in Guatemala. So, yeah, I fucked up.
But we’ll always have that night on the ranch.
About as redneck as it gets without involving relatives or animals.
Age: 18
Location: On the hood of the car of the girl on a gravel road.
Moment: I was interested in this girl who was from a nearby town. We had gone on a date to the county fair, and were headed back home when I told her to take a detour. We stopped on a gravel road no one lived on, parked in a field drive, and laid on the hood of her car (she drove, My license was suspended) to watch the moon and stars. We started going at it when she stopped me to ask if I was a virgin. I said, “Yeah. I mean, I was. Were you?” She then broke down and cried and confessed that she had just lost her virginity a week or two prior to her boyfriend whom she was still dating. So we stopped, and I had her drop me off at home. Never talked to her again. My Cinderella.
What is this? Some attempt at a bad Nicolas Sparks book?
… As opposed to a good Nicolas Sparks book?
I lost mine to the weird sexual girl from the drama class I was forced into when I was 15. The best acting I did in the class was acting like I was interested in the subject matter in order to convince this girl to have sex with me in my parents basement.
3/10. At least I got a funny story out of it.
You were forced into her?