Chipotle Got Rid Of Carnitas At A Third Of Their Restaurants, Probably Because No One Ever Orders F**king Carnitas

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Hey, go call that one person you know who gets carnitas at Chipotle and let them know that you’re about to wreck their life.

Chipotle is scrapping their worst meat from hundreds of restaurants due to a “supplier violating standards” and not responsibly raising their pork. Okay, sure. There’s also the possibility Chipotle is doing this because no one, and I mean NO ONE, ever orders carnitas. You ever tried it? It’s like trying to eat a slow cooked gym rope.

Chipotle spokesman Chris Arnold told The Associated Press it was the first time they’ve stopped serving a certain meat at restaurants. The pork supplier blew a routine audit last week and Chipotle decided to pull every last piece of the stringy diarrhea meat from nearly a third of all its stores. Chipotle doesn’t have any idea when carnitas will return to over a third of their stores.

Well, that’s a real bummer for the 17 people in America who enjoy pork burritos. How could anyone order anything but chicken or steak? It’s not like pork is a healthier option. In fact, have you ever seen them scoop that stuff out of the trough? It looks like it’s just been sitting in room temperature grease since 10 a.m.

Maybe this will open up a spot for an even better protein to be featured on the menu. I’ve compiled a short list of what I’d like to see next to steak, chicken and barbacoa the next time I walk into Chipotle:

-Chicken fingers
-Burnt ends (Kansas City style or GTFO)
-Texas style Brisket
-Bagel Bites
-Coconut shrimp
-Mozzarella sticks

Your move, Chipotle.

[via Business Insider]

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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