Not even bothering with the 19-year-olds on Tinder. PGP.

Keeping your headphones on hours after your iPod died so no one talks to you. PGP.

Prostate exams. PGP.

Talking about how successful that one friend is. PGP.

“Just send me what you have.” PGP.

“Gotta run, about to hop on a call.” PGP.

Burning your entire lunch break sitting in the Chick-fil-a drive-thru line. PGP.

Liking Facebook pages you have zero interest in because a friend who made it for their social media job invited you to. PGP.

“Can’t make it, I have a wedding to go to that weekend.” PGP.

“The chapter’s just not what it used to be.” PGP.

You don’t have time to play video games anymore. PGP.

Sorry for not partying. PGP.