“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.” -Mitch Hedberg PGP.

Sexual harassment policy videos from the ’90s. PGP.

Listening to your coworker who treats her dogs like real children. PGP.

Being able to empathize with the guys from Office Space and Horrible Bosses more and more each day. PGP.

Actually taking your doctor’s advice seriously. PGP.

Turning down easy sex because you’re too tired. PGP.

Envying Dufner because he still gets to dip at work. PGP.

The struggle to stay off LinkedIn when you’re drunk. PGP.

Reminiscing over your college glory days via Facebook on a Saturday night. PGP.

Shaving at night so that you can hit snooze in the morning. PGP.

Constantly worrying that you’re going to give yourself food poisoning because you’re a terrible cook. PGP.

Getting anxiety from wondering why you have so much anxiety. PGP.