Stealing office K-Cups for your home Keurig machine. PGP.

Telling colleagues you have lunch plans to avoid eating with them, then getting caught eating in your car. PGP.

Envying the intern whose lunch is clearly made by his mom. PGP.

Taking care of emails first thing in the morning so it appears you’re really after it early. PGP.

I felt ballsy this morning and printed out an Excel spreadsheet without using print preview to see if it would fit on one page. PGP.

Thursdays are the only days on Instagram I care about anymore. PGP.

Making up acronyms for the sole purpose of confusing the interns. PGP.

Having to plan way ahead when you want to rage, and then raging dangerously hard to make up for lower raging frequency. PGP.

Having nothing to contribute to your older coworkers’ conversation about their favorite authors. PGP.

Typing “Please see the attached file” and forgetting to attach the file. PGP.

Joking “That’s why they pay me the big bucks” when in reality you make shit. PGP.

Actually enjoying watching Jeopardy and being entirely too satisfied when you get an answer right. PGP.