Double fisting coffee first thing in the morning. PGP.

My boss told me I should look into “getting some ADD medicine.” I don’t think I should tell him that I just don’t care about work. PGP.

Creating a PGP account while on a never-ending conference call. PGP.

Intently reading a piece of paper when your boss walks by to look busy. PGP.

Sent a department-wide email with a catastrophic typo. PGP.

Got paid on Friday. Checked my bank account this morning. Apparently, spent 50% of it on t-shirts from my favorite brewery back home. Priorities, right? PGP.

I mentioned to my parents that I take toilet paper from hotels during business trips and now they’re convinced I’m having money trouble. PGP.

Stuck in the lab while the lady who cleans our office yells at her daughter over the phone. PGP.

Trekked to the office in this blizzard for an important client meeting that “can’t be missed” only to find out the client cancelled without notifying anyone but the boss. Boss forgot to email the team to not come in. PGP.

Accidentally bought a jumbo pack of single ply toilet paper. PGP.

Filling out my bracket gives me more anxiety than anything at my job. PGP.

I was 150% productive yesterday; I’m about 30% productive today. It’s called balance. PGP.