Not having the balls to online date, so instead you merely online flirt. PGP.

Coffee breath. PGP.

I’ve been high at work all day today, and I finally figured out how to adjust my chair. PGP.

I woke up in an old Toyota…because I blacked out at happy hour. PGP.

Unsure why you are CC’ed on an email, but being too afraid to ask. PGP.

“Accidentally” spending all the money pooled for your fantasy football league, and having to pay the winner out of pocket at the end of the season. PGP.

The undeniable attraction you now feel toward women dressed in professional business attire. PGP.

Spending three hours reorganizing your desk to appear busy. PGP.

I didn’t choose the MetLife, the MetLife chose me. Actually, my employer’s benefits plan chose the MetLife for me. PGP.

The walk from the staff meeting directly to the bathroom. PGP.

Female coworkers carrying their purses to the bathroom. PGP.

Drinking Saturday leading to sleeping in on Sunday, resulting in no sleep Sunday night to rest up for the week. PGP.