Today in the middle of a meeting I dropped my pen on purpose, just to feel alive again. It was a rush. PGP.

“Would you mind coming in early tomorrow?” PGP.

“What do I have to lose?” PGP.

Boss fired someone three weeks ago. I’ve now been doing two people’s jobs for three weeks. PGP.

My hair smelling like coconuts right now is the closest thing I’m getting to a vacation for a long time. PGP.

I’m old enough to remember when Facebook required you to have a .edu email address to become a member. PGP.

I have $23 in my checking account to last until payday. PGP.

I’m undefeated in my non-money “fun” fantasy league. I’m 2-4 in all three of my three money leagues. PGP.

“My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.” -Patrick Bateman. PGP.

I’ve had to use Urban Dictionary way too much. PGP.

Called into my manager’s office, thought I was getting fired. Turns out they signed me up to take a trip to visit corporate in Germany. Now I’m terrified of getting fired abroad. PGP.

Taking Nyquil because you refuse to become addicted to prescription sleeping drugs. PGP.

I eat with my in-laws as often as possible because they always pick up the tab. PGP.

It’s that time of year, where you drive to and from work and see absolutely no sunlight. PGP

My credit card was declined on a first date. PGP.

Pretty sure I will still know every word to “Men in Black” when I’m 70. PGP.

Working on Columbus Day. PGP.

Had to use Coinstar to afford two six-packs for the weekend. PGP.

Going from idolizing Patrick Bateman to empathizing with him. PGP.

Made a game time decision to wear my “fun” socks to work. Most exciting thing I did all week. PGP.