Inadvertently scaring the crap out of coworkers who walk blindly around corners. PGP.

Keeping your Facebook for the sole purpose of seeing other people doing worse in life than you. PGP.

Not taking off your suit jacket all day because the only clean dress shirt you had was the one you left wrinkled on the floor for two weeks. PGP.

Fire drills at work are even more exciting than when we had them in 4th grade. PGP.

Calculated my net worth. Determined that it was a negative number. PGP.

I put 100% into my job. 12% on Monday, 26% on Tuesday, 30% on Wednesday, 27% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday. PGP.

Ordering office supplies is the closest I’ll come to “spoiling myself” this week. PGP.

Marking an email “highly important” to let the secretary know we’re out of french vanilla creamer. PGP.

I only work hard at my cubicle because I want to have my own office one day so I can close the door and sleep. PGP.

That guy at work who emails out the YouTube link to the GEICO hump day commercial every Wednesday. PGP.

The button just popped off my Dockers. PGP.

I know the world will burn when the computers, internet, and phones fail because of the way the office reacted when we lost all that for 15 minutes. PGP.