Feeling like Gordon freakin’ Gekko the minute that headset goes on. PGP.

Any activity outside of your daily norm being classified as “exercise.” PGP.

French cuffs make me feel more important than I really am. PGP.

Performance review is just a fancy term for “Why the hell shouldn’t we fire you?” PGP.

Asking a question and being told “It’s all in the email.” PGP.

My coworker just hit her face on the keyboard because she fell asleep. PGP.

The coworker that tries to finish their supervisor’s sentences to sound like they’re “on the same page.” PGP.

“Well, you’ve gotta pay your dues.” PGP.

Externally appearing calm and professional, but internally thinking “please don’t let me shit myself” during an important meeting. PGP.

The loser that hangs his diploma in a cubicle. PGP.

When “Hey, do you have a minute?” sucks hours out of your day. PGP.

That feeling of helplessness when your favorite bathroom stall is taken. PGP.