There’s not enough in my retirement account to buy one share of Apple. PGP.

The person who will not stop CLICKING THEIR GODDAMN PEN. PGP.

Receiving judgmental looks from coworkers for starting “No Shave November” early. PGP.

When your boss comes up with a brilliant idea that just results in you taking on more work. PGP.

A night of drinking requiring more recovery time than minor surgery. PGP.

There was a time when I thought a 401k was a running event. PGP.

Spending at least 45 minutes on Google every time they make a new doodle game. PGP.

Having to look the cleaning guy in the eye after exiting a stall. PGP.

12 oz. curls that get progressively lighter with each rep. PGP.

When making it rain means you’re watering your wife’s flowers. PGP.

Being a house with no lights on for Halloween. PGP.

Forgetting to turn auto save on and losing all your work. PGP.