Bathroom breaks are my refuge against the harsh reality of the real world. PGP.

Want to guarantee someone will walk over to your desk in the next 30 seconds? Fart. PGP.

Having to pretend to be excited when a coworker tells you what they got each of their kids for Christmas. PGP.

Showing up late and leaving early on days when your boss is out of the office. PGP.

My long term financial planning includes working so many hours that I don’t have time to spend any of my money. PGP.

Copying and pasting for eight straight hours. PGP.

Going to the bathroom to check Snapchat. PGP.

“Want to donate to our Christmas family?” “No, we’re in the same tax bracket.” PGP.

Spending more time in traffic than doing actual work in the office. PGP.

Constantly fighting the urge to use “that’s what she said” jokes in the office. PGP.

I listed books on my Christmas list. Non-fiction books. PGP.

Gas mileage is the main factor when car shopping now. PGP.