Whenever someone says something especially stupid at a meeting, I often wonder what would happen if I jumped across the table and falcon punched them. PGP.

I heard the new $100 bill looks awesome. Too bad I won’t hold one any time soon. PGP.

Lack of planning on your boss’s part always resulting in an emergency on your part. PGP.

When quickly walking to the printer without shoes on is the most adventurous and risky thing you’ve done all week. PGP.

When your boss sends a “reply all” email with no text in the body. Not sure if that means approval or I fucked up. PGP.

Nobody in the office knows I smoke. PGP.

Being audited for trying to expense alcohol as dinner. PGP.

Realizing your Tinder crush is actually 400 miles away because you swiped right while out of town on business. PGP.

Being over-educated and under-employed. PGP.

Trying to slide out of the break room unnoticed when you finish the last cup of coffee and don’t make a new pot. PGP.

There’s a new guy at work who has a view of my desk so I can’t watch Netflix anymore. PGP.

Staring at the clock for 15 straight minutes once 4:45 hits. PGP.