The coworker across the hall that includes the time zone when inviting you to get lunch. PGP.

Everyone telling war stories about driving in as soon as they arrive on a morning when you got 2 inches of snow. PGP.

Get a masters degree they said. Your diploma will be as useful as toilet paper, they should’ve said. PGP.

So far I’ve only handed out business cards to my family. PGP.

My boss emailed me a link to a satire website article about Obama planning to forgive student loans, then called me hysterically laughing about how funny it was. I didn’t laugh. PGP.

Taking frequent bathroom breaks to go huff the freshly painted hallways. PGP.

The manager with his computer volume up so high that you can hear every time he gets an email. PGP.

A snow covered lot resulting in parking anarchy. PGP.

My boyfriend started audio recording the women in his office with the most hideous laughs, and last night we got to listen to it together before bed. PGP.

My love life is like Flappy Bird. It’s distracting me from my career, and I’m not getting too far. PGP.

Telling your mom you’re “having Italian tonight” as you open a bag of pizza rolls. PGP.

Googling “how to make new friends after college.” PGP.