Volunteering to donate blood at work so it will get you out of working for an hour. PGP.

We don’t have any secret bathrooms in this building. PGP.

Timing your lunch break so it begins right as your boss’s ends so he has less time in the day to notice your lack of importance. PGP.

Looking forward to turning 25 because your insurance rates go down. PGP.

The water cooler has more pressure than my shower. PGP.

It’s Friday, motherfucker. You can’ t tell me nothing. PGP.

Waking up with a headache after drinking 2 beers the night before. PGP.

Contemplating selling Advocare. PGP.

If eating a whole frozen pizza is wrong, I don’t want to be right. PGP.

Office productivity falling by at least 75% when the boss doesn’t come in. PGP.

I’ve cried more times in my cube in 9 months than I did in 4 years of college. PGP.

Your longest relationship being dictated by the length of time you’re in a city for a work project. PGP.