Friends with benefits now means my friends have health insurance and a 401k. #PGP

Actually having to clean your place before having a girl over. PGP

I can’t Rage Against The Machine anymore, because i’m part of it. PGP.

“Would you like to add guacamole, it costs $1.99 extra?””No thanks, I have to save up for a car, a house, grad school, a ring, a wedding, and retirement.”

Feeling obligated to invite a person to your wedding because you were invited to theirs, even though you have a long list of much closer friends. PGP.

Calling in sick on opening day after giving your 2 weeks.

I’ve started attending my church again solely for the networking opportunities.

Your Saturday night pregame consisting of slowly drank beers and Property Brothers. #PGP

Watching Dirty Jobs and feeling absolutely no solace nor pride in the job that I have.

I almost said “compliments to the chef”at a Chili’s.

The tone deaf land whale in the next cubicle has been singing oldies all… day… long.

“A one night stand from college just added me to LinkedIn and daily checks out my profile… how did he figure out my last name?” PGP