Day 2 of taking Adderall: still no actual work done, but just in case anyone asks, I have exactly 318 Post-it’s in 7 different colors and the building I can see from my cubicle has 240 windows. PGP.
Seriously considering failing the company’s drug test on purpose. PGP.
“So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.” PGP.
Abusing your “looking busy face” so much at work that it is now your full-time, permanent face. PGP.
Dom Toretto lived his life a quarter mile at a time. I live mine a half gallon of milk at a time. PGP.
“Your Netflix account is in use on another device. Please stop playing on other devices to continue.” PGP.
Today I was told not to make eye contact with a client. PGP.
“Welcome to Chipot– oh hey man, you want the usual?” PGP.
Relying on two pills per day…that aren’t Adderall. PGP.
Weekly computer troubleshooting phone calls from family because you work in IT. PGP.
I swear this is my last time downloading Tinder. PGP.
I would put pine tar on my neck if it got get me kicked out of work for the day. PGP.