“Congratulations, your LinkedIn Profile had 1 view last week.” PGP.

I created an entire imaginary future based on the one job application I just filled out. PGP.

Was I supposed to lie when my boss asked if I liked my job? PGP.

My parents unknowingly crushed me by canceling their HBO subscription. PGP.

1: “Does the coffee taste bad to you this morning?” 2: “It tastes bad every morning.” PGP.

Walking into work late with CFA breakfast. PGP.

I no longer care if a client sees that I looked them up on LinkedIn right after a call to see if they are hot or not. PGP.

Turn down for heartburn. PGP.

Greeting the guy whose name you can never remember with “There he is!” PGP.

1:”Where do you want to eat lunch?” 2: “Anywhere I can’t see this building.” 1: “Completely agree.” PGP.

My expensive tastes greatly outweigh my paycheck. PGP.

It’s hard to date a guy who drives a 2004 Dodge Neon and can only afford to drink Lonestar Tall Boys. PGP.