The never ending guessing game about how much you think upper management makes. PGP.

1: “Who in the fuck brewed decaf?” 2: “Some virgin.” PGP.

I was so excited about getting this job. Now I’m only excited for lunch. PGP.

There’s someone in the stall next to me and neither of us is making a sound. I think we both came in here for the peace and quiet. PGP.

All Mint.com does is remind me that the majority of my income is spent on alcohol. PGP.

Looking at Paris on Google Earth because you can’t afford vacation this summer. PGP.

I legitimately just questioned if I was invisible. Then questioned my sanity. Then poured another coffee and checked my email. PGP.

Mentally checking out from work two weeks before your day off. PGP.

Let’s have a meeting to plan what we’re going to plan for our next meeting. PGP.

So. Many. Weddings. PGP.

I can’t believe I was the best candidate for the job. I’m a dipshit employee. PGP.

Mint.com and I have much different definitions of the term “Low Balance on Checking.” PGP.