1: “Hey, man, how’s it going?” 2: “Eh, depends on how you look at it.” PGP.

The not so very subtle fist pump when the handicap stall in the bathroom is vacant. PGP.

Every day at work, I park under an old tree in the hopes that it will fall and I can then collect the insurance money on my totaled car. PGP.

Just followed PGP on my company’s Twitter account. Almost got fired. PGP.

Everyone at the company baseball game bought beer. I bought Dippin Dots. PGP.

Being too old to pretend you have a chance with a professional athlete anymore. PGP.

The VP of my department has a mullet. PGP.

My boss is letting everyone hang out in the conference room and watch the World Cup. I hate soccer. PGP.

The only thing I’ve done at work today is creep on girls on Instagram and make World Cup futures bets. PGP.

Spelling your email phonetically. PGP.

I missed my train on purpose this morning so I could just have a few more minutes to myself. PGP.

Wearing running shoes with slacks. PGP.