My boss has called me every “J” name in the world except for my actual name. PGP.

I buttoned the buttons on a gameday polo for the first time today. PGP.

All the bathrooms in my building block phone and wifi signal. PGP.

The best part of waking up…is going back to sleep for 45 minutes on the train. PGP.

My life is now just looking forward to the next time I get drunk and hate myself for it. PGP.

I can’t even afford a fixer-upper. PGP.

My idea of “Turnt Up” is a large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. PGP.

1. “Morning!”. 2. “Yes, it is.” PGP.

My boss laughed at me for volunteering. PGP.

The only “raging” I do anymore is getting blackout drunk watching Netflix. Alone. PGP.

My Google Chrome Top 8 homepage acting as my morning to-do list. PGP.

Got bored today at work. Tried to see if a paperclip would fit through my earring hole in my ear lobe. PGP.