“Have a great J4!” Please cut it the fuck out with the weird abbreviations that no one uses. PGP.

Getting a phone call after 4:00 PM heading into a long holiday weekend. PGP.

FICA tax is making me resent my grandma. PGP.

Thinking your girlfriend is physically attracted to you. PGP.

The metrics I’m evaluated on contradict each other. PGP.

Watching Spongebob with my nephew and exclusively identifying with Squidward. PGP.

Someone shared “12 things you never knew you could put in the dishwasher” on Facebook. I don’t have a dishwasher. PGP.

Ate a brownie. Unknowingly smeared brownie residue on a report. Get called into HR to discuss “the importance of washing my hands after leaving the restrooms.” PGP.

Listening to the execs plan their trip to the Hamptons. I’m excited for a seven dollar bar crawl this weekend. PGP.

New office suite neighbors leading to increased bathroom traffic in the halls. Can’t I just poop in peace? PGP.

“Have a safe 4th of July weekend!” Don’t tell me how to live my life. PGP.

Checking the breakroom snack counter every 30 minutes to see if any food magically appeared. Just like your refrigerator at home. PGP.