Labor Day can’t come soon enough. PGP.

I don’t even look at the clock anymore. I tell time by how many times I click “I’m Still Listening” on Pandora. PGP.

Realizing you should have waited until after your 4th of July party to buy new furniture. PGP.

Crying at the end of “Animal House.” PGP.

Too slutty to work at Hobby Lobby. PGP.

Officially, I had the Fourth of July off. Unofficially, I walked in parades for my boss all day. PGP.

Can’t tell if Tinder is broken or if no women within a 10 mile radius are interested in having sex with me. PGP.

Getting excited about health insurance. PGP.

The sense of impending doom that is returning to work after a holiday weekend. PGP.

Today my coworker told me I looked rough. I thought I looked nice today. PGP.

My coworkers always think I’m hungover when I’m really just tired. I wish I was as cool as they think. PGP.

Making a trip to the post office last three hours. PGP.