Being asked to move out of the background a company commercial shoot. PGP.

Had no internet at work yesterday, spent 9 hours playing solitaire. PGP.

Trading in the beer shits for the coffee ones. PGP.

My parents inviting me over for a week while they are on vacation. I found a note on when to feed the dog. PGP.

The need to scrub the bar stamp off my hand was my only motivation for getting in the shower this morning. PGP.

Got one of those, “I either made lots of friends or ruined friendships night” type of hangovers. PGP.

“Oh, I have a grandson your age.” PGP.

Intentionally avoiding the cute teller at the bank, because you don’t want her to see your account balance. PGP.

Just realized I can no longer check the “20-24” age box on forms. PGP.

Fighting the urge to pretend I’m on Shark Tank and typing “for that reason, I’m out” in work emails. PGP.

I feel like my life has now turned into the first scene of any movie Rob Schneider made from 1999-2002. PGP.

Let’s just see who pops up on Match.com in the $150k+ income bracket. PGP.