Updated iPad. Erased everything. PGP.

The WatchESPN app. My anti-PGP. PGP.

Gmail automatically marks the newsletter from my liquor store as “important.” PGP.

I started drinking at lunch for fun. Now I do it out of necessity. PGP.

The fine line between judgment and jealousy when you find out a friend’s parents still pay their rent. PGP.

Not being funny enough for the PGP wall. PGP.

Shit’s expensive. PGP.

My alarm is set for 6:47AM because I NEED those extra two minutes of sleep. PGP.

Wearing athletic shorts while eating an entire pizza. PGP.

Separation anxiety because your normal trivia host got transferred to another bar. PGP.

I’ve eaten so much chicken that I can’t take it anymore. PGP.

If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had been here. I’d forget too. PGP.