I’d rather be the worst player on the PGA tour every week, than the best employee in my department. PGP.

I only drink so I can eat fast food later without judgement. PGP.

I thought once I graduated, I would would be living like Jordan Belfort. I was tragically mistaken. PGP.

Me when I was 18: “I’ll be a billionaire by 25.” Me now: “I wonder if I’ll still be living at home by 25.” PGP.

Refusing to update your LinkedIn profile for fear that you may lose your job at any moment. PGP.

Fantasizing more about sleep than sex. PGP.

Thinking about asking your doctor if viagra is right for you. PGP.

Chugging coffee. PGP.

The Engineering Department has a 56-inch flat screen mounted on the wall in full view of everybody on their side. I am not in the Engineering Department. PGP.

I just compared myself to Gil Humplestead. PGP.

Even our HR guy hates HR. PGP.

When books replace bottles as your number one beach companion. PGP.